The Felon and Falcon Chronicles (#1)
by Felon and Falcon
Summary: Mystery meat isn't the only thing you have to worry about at lunch.....


Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Men but Felon is Felon's and Falcon is Falcon's.  
  
Well we've developed these characters, so we decided we'd write a story together. We were sitting at lunch one day, thinking how funny it would be if... well I won't give away the plot. Just R/R it, we wanna know how we're doing for our first fic together.   
  
Mystery Meat Isn't the Only Thing you have to Worry About at Lunch  
  
  
Felon and I were staring down at the "food" lying in front of us. "IT MOVED!" Felon yelled, "I swear!" I used my heightened vision to zoom in on the gunk before me, but quickly shook my head after seeing... well, let's not go into that. "What?" Felon asked suspiciously. "Nothing," I replied, "You DON'T want to know, believe me. Go on and eat your...er... food." As Felon begins to eat, (Frankly I've lost my appetite), I hear a distant growl. Uh-oh, that could only mean one thing. "Felon," I said, voice wavering, "I need to talk to you NOW!" I grab her and pull her under the table. "Falcon, what is it?" she replied, plainly irritated, "OWW! STOP PULLING MY HAIR!" "Oh, sorry, but I have a feeling that in about ten seconds we may be visited by a, well... let's just say, "old friend." We hear enormous feet booming down the hall towards the lunchroom. The door is flung off its hinges and flies into the wall behind us. Sabretooth. Crap. "Where is Felon and Falcon?" He roared. Everyone in the lunchroom stared at Sabretooth as he ran around, frantically looking for us, confused by the hundreds of scents. "I have a plan," I say, "Here's what you do," and I told her my plan. Meanwhile, Sabretooth picks up our principal by the neck while she is trying to explain that there is NO ONE at our school named Felon or Falcon. We used the distraction to discuss what action to take. Finally, as our principal's face turned a rather disturbing purplish color, Felon crawled out from under the table and said, "Oh here's my fork!" a little too loudly. Sabretooth dropped our principal to the floor with a thud. He bounded over to Felon and grabbed her neck and growled, "Where's Falcon?" "Uh... I don't know what you're talking about! I don't know a Falcon... My name is, uh, Gertrude, right, Gertrude, yeah," she chuckled nervously. /Hurry up Falcon!/ she thought, sending her message to Falcon telepathically, desperately hoping she'd show up soon. Sabretooth tightened his grip, "Actually," Felon whispered, "The name does ring a bell." I had been lurking behind him invisibly watching Felon. Now come to think of it, the scene would've been quite funny if Felon's life hadn't been in danger. I mean, seeing her lifted three feet in the air and flailing around protesting her name was Gertrude and all... Gertrude, I snorted, where'd she come up with that one? Well I guess I should take some action now, Felon's face is looking a startlingly strange tint of maroon. So I whacked him above the head, simultaneously releasing my adamantium wings. I soared up to the ceiling and hovered. "Finally," Felon gasped, joining me, "Sure took ya a while." She rubbed her neck uncomfortably. Our principal, who had just stood up and cleaning the sleeves of her suit (her elbow had landed in a misplaced bowl of chicken noodle soup) fell down in shock when she saw us, adamantium wings and all. "WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON HERE?" she shouted, as all the little kids at a nearby table started giggling at her choice of language. But they're laughter abruptly stopped as Sabretooth gave a feral roar and jumped up to grab Felon. "FALCON! A LITTLE HELP PLEASE!" Felon yelled frantically, clutching at her recently freed neck, "I'm not invisible...." I swooped down and grabbed her hand and she disappeared. We lunged down to pick up Sabretooth by the pants, giving him the ultimate wedgie. We carried him out the door and flung him into a conveniently placed dumpster. Which was conveniently picked up by a garbage truck. My how things work out so well. We walked back in to see everyone staring at us; A medley of emotions on their faces. (Mostly fear and terror of course, I mean, do adamantium wings look friendly? You get the point...) Felon attempts to explain to the lunchroom full of frightened children that we will NOT hurt them. (But they better beware the mystery meat.) Our principal was still in a dazed condition, and a few teachers were huddled around her, trying to bring her into the world of the conscious. "Maybe if we retract our wings we won't look so scary," Felon suggested. "Um... yes, that's a good idea, it might also help if you stop making your eyes glow red," retorted. We retracted our wings with a metallic SHINK. We tackle the challenge of calming everyone down, but soon give up. I mean, trauma goes away eventually, right? It wasn't that serious.... Ok...well anyway, Felon settled down to eat her (alleged) food. I stopped her, and whispered what I had seen in there, omitting the overly disgusting parts. She blanched, turning green. "Let's go get some real food," I proposed. She nodded vehemently and we got up to leave. Everyone stared at us as we exited, still wallowing in a painful silence. Everyone seemed to be thinking the same thing as we quickly passed, "What the hell just happened?"  
  



End file.
